Friday, October 7, 2011

Friends

I never quite understand why anyone wants to be my friend but I'm really glad that they did. I am not the easiest person to be with (fussy, bossy, sarcastic, etc...) but someway, somehow my friends can overlook those things and put up with me. I can never thanked you enough. May Allah bless your souls.

I'm sorry I've been pushing you away. I'm not good at dealings with my emotions. I just don't want to hurt you more than what I already done. I sincerely apologize. I hope you know that your thoughts are highly appreciated. I hoped I didn't worry you too much. I'm not okay, but I'm getting there.

1 comment:

Liza said...

Assalamualaikum.
Hi Fila. How are you? Sehat?
Its 2019, and we're about to enter 2020 already.
The year where we thoughts that there will be a flying car in the sky as we drawn it, for Pendidikan Seni in primary school.
No flying car ea..

Surprise? I'm not sure wheather this message will ever reach u or not, but I feel that I needed to reach you somehow.
Kadang2, very rarely, there is those day where I kept being reminded of you.
And today is actually one of those day.

I've visited your FB. Of course no new post from you. Me, myself is not someone who do posting frequently either.
But hey, every once in a while I saw posting tagging you there. And I got a bit of hint of how you are doing.

I'm not sure if I am the friend that you've describe in your post.
But, if I am, please dont feel sorry to me. And please know that you are a best and good friend to me.

Actually it is ME who are not a good friend to you.
In the buzziness of completing the FYP and getting a degree, with all the new facinating experience and tiring first job work.
I forgot about you.
Or rather I choose to forgot you.
Even when I seem to get a hint that you're not OK, I pretended that I don't know.

Sometimes its even occur to me, if that is the reason that you're facing the problems that you had.
For quite a long time, I seems to be denying it.
If i just have the tendency to just care enough about you, will you be in a diffrent situation now.

I'm SORRY.
For the longest time i wanted to say this but don't have the courage to do so.
SORRY for not being there for you.
SORRY for not becoming someone you can depend on.
SORRY for not encouraging you to keep on fighting.
SORRY.

I hope we can keep in touch, Fila.
I miss you.