Friday, December 30, 2011


I just battled motion sickness just to type a new post only to have it not published and forever gone. Thank you Mr.CrappyPhone!

Monday, December 26, 2011

Getting out of my self imposed solitude...

I've been hiding in my cave for so long. I guess it's time I get out. Truth hurts, meeting people sucks but that's just life. I can't shelter myself from everything just because things doesn't go my way. So, if you ever try to reach out for me, I might just send my SOS your way...

Rambling no1000000

Hello! Miss me much? Haha...
It's time for another rambling...
My aunt asked me about what interest me, what I want out of life. After thinking long and hard, (trust me, I really did) the answer is I don't know. I used to find life fascinating. Now, everything seems so dull to me. I guess it comes with being a recluse.
I guess since I can't close the old chapter that I find it hard to move on with my life. It's like a sentence hanging just waiting for me to put a full stop.
But sometime, you just need time and new inspiration. I never thought about this but it is possible for me to just abandon that chapter and open a new one. Maybe someday, I could revisit that old chapter and finish it or just leave it as it is. A part of my life that can never be changed but serves as a reminder of what should be avoid and what I'm capable of. Moving on...
My aunt said that when God closed one door for me, a lot more door are open. Now, I just have to search which door I'm going.
I guess it's time to put on my thinking cap (OMG, it's been so long since I have to do that).

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The power of prayer...

No matter how ungrateful I am towards all the great things that God has given me, I'm blessed to have His mercy. I always asked but never give. I have a lot but never enough. I say I will but I won't. I start but never finish.

This time I want it all to change. Slowly but surely. I hope I have His guidance to persevere. For once, I want to be thankful. InsyaAllah...

Friday, October 7, 2011


I never quite understand why anyone wants to be my friend but I'm really glad that they did. I am not the easiest person to be with (fussy, bossy, sarcastic, etc...) but someway, somehow my friends can overlook those things and put up with me. I can never thanked you enough. May Allah bless your souls.

I'm sorry I've been pushing you away. I'm not good at dealings with my emotions. I just don't want to hurt you more than what I already done. I sincerely apologize. I hope you know that your thoughts are highly appreciated. I hoped I didn't worry you too much. I'm not okay, but I'm getting there.

Hello... (again!)

Hello again to those who has been with me through all these years. I'm sorry I haven't been writing for so long. I was going through something that I didn't quite understand and I just need some time for myself. I still haven't figure it all out but I'm not so lost anymore.

First of all, I want to apologize to everyone who has ever been intentionally or unintentionally harmed by my writing. I'm only human. My feeling and my thoughts are controlled by my emotions. I have not mastered the art of taking care of other people feelings. So if I ever wronged you in any way, please forgive me.

As you can see, I've deleted all my older post. I might regret it later because there's so much memories that I cherish are gone forever. I just need to learn to let go of the past and start again. I hope from now on, I can move forward on a positive note.