Friday, March 2, 2012


Sometimes I wish I was a tortoise. Why? So I can bring my 'home' wherever I go.

I used to look weirdly at people who carried their ratty, tattered, ugly, smelly blankie/pillow/teddy around. But I may have been just as bad as them (or even worst).

Some people grow attached to one thing that reminded them of home. Of the safe place. Somewhere where they are comfortable and welcomed.

Me, I grow attach to many things. While some think that I was a pack rat, I actually was trying to bring everything I need to make a new home. I don't grow attached to stuff, I just want 'my' stuff. Maybe this stems from not having to share anything with anyone since I was raised like I'm the only child. I don't share. What I need I usually have.

Everytime I move into a new dorm room, I have to lug every item I think I would need. That's the only way I would feel okay. Most of the time, I wouldn't need half of the stuff I bring. But I don't care. I feel great knowing that if I ever need it, it's somewhere near. Not back home where I can't have it.

Packing light when I travel? Not a chance! As long as there are spaces I can fill, I will fill it. Even if I will hurt my back trying to lug it around, I will do it. Just the thought of not having things that I actually have when I needed it freaks me out. So yeah, going backpacking might not be best for me.

Yes, I carry my own pillow and blanket around if I could. Not because I'm attached to them, I just didn't like using other people stuff. Of have to sleep without it. I have been put in many situation that is not an ideal place to sleep, but as long as I have my blanket and pillow, I'm good to go. Since I'm sensitive to smell and sight, borrowing other people stuff could cause problems.

This time around, I try to minimize the stuff I brought to my dorm. Bad idea. This is why I'm home right now. I'm always on edge thinking about the stuff that I could have had that was just lying around at home.

I apologize to those that I make fun of before. I now understand the need to have something that makes you comfortable. Be it a blanket, pillow, teddy bear or the entire content of your room. But please do wash those stuff that you have since you're a baby. It's just gross. And unhygienic.


oYaRn said...

haha.. same goes here..
every time i'm away, my backpack was load with what i think enough/must bring for the trip. which usually leave untouched in the backpack..huhu

"mak aih.. ko bawak apa ni? berat giler" it's a common question i get each time somebody try to move/help carrying my bags.. hehe

and one more thing that we have in common... i'm sensitive to smell too.. sometimes it may look impolite to cover a borrowed pillow with towel..but i really can't sleep if it's smelly maa.. do not be offended lor :P

Ika Muztaba said...

that is just sooooo you~'s been quite some time since i read your blog..
kinda miss listening to you ranting though..hahaah
ah, missed friends from ukm..
i'm such a loner here (i have friends scattered everywhere but i have none from my place.kinda sad thinking bout it.. -__-)
would love to hear more from you :) i'll find you later on MSN..
you have a good day!

cluelessbaby said...

hey sis... at the end of the day, it's our comfort at stake. so let em talk...

miss you too buddy! I'm kinda a loner right now... more like I'm alienating people... will get in touch with you when I'm better... right now I'm not on ym or fb... feel free to dm me but don't know when I get back to you...